Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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