If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Whoever put the life size cut out of Snoop Dog next to me in bed understands me.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Randomize
