Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
