Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
no dont worry i changed into my costume in the hospital bathroom
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
