Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
