Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
My parents called me out on catching us walking home from the bar in a swimming motion because "it was too windy to walk" home...
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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