Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
the day after is always just damage control
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment
Thank god I got my shit together
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
