I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
i pounded out a 17-yr-old on saturday night
no, that is not a typo
i turned her down on fri night, googled the state consent laws & then caved on saturday
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
She was sitting there stuffing her face rubbing my back with a dorito cheese filled hand while eating something else with the other hand as I was crying.
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
My theory is if i keep drinking, evolution will kick in and I will grow a bigger, faster, and more improved liver by January.
Randomize
