I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
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