So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
