That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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