I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Randomize
