Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He was bigger soft than my ex was hard. A gold medal rebound.
You are the jesus of drinking
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
