Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
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