Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
If he thinks I'm canceling my orgy to coddle his stupid fucking behavior, he has another thing coming
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
