I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
