I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I can't really feel a difference, so essentially I paid 60 bucks to bedazzle my vag.
I party with great urgency now.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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