note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
SShout out to Barney the Dinosaur for teaching me how to sing the ABCs backward. I just scored a free pitcher.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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