whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
I love how my cats smell like pot.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he went to have surgery in the morning and apparently they found lip gloss on his dick
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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