Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
they just named my boobs. Lefty is "Guenevere" and Righty is "I claim this boob for America"
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Randomize
