Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
Randomize
