so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I'm like cupid
You're a whore with a bow and arrow
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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