You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
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