OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
she complimented my bra when we were hooking up. this lesbian thing has its upsides
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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