Me. At least after what I've been through.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
Randomize
