grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
