Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
