And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
I missed you last night. I'm sure he will never forget the night i sang my heart will go on into his penis like a microphone
Randomize
