and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
