Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Smoked before work and just remembered i left pringles in my desk last time i was high. SCORE
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
Randomize
