..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I was fed cake in bed and then was pinned down and ridden till I came. And then fed more cake. I'm going to marry Brad. I'll put money on it.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
I just realized, you're dating a guy named Jameson. That is another level of whiskey dick.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Randomize
