We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
Hey. I can't work your space dryer so I'm wearing your blanket home. I'll get my clothes later. Fun party!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
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