So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
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