You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
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