It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
She knew it was going down when I had her search for "condoms" in my iPhone Maps.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Shit. My boss is having me meet and greet with the new doc upstairs. Do you think his doctor powers will detect that I'm still high?
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
