I want to buy you liquor! I want to kiss your face.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
