Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
Oh, fuck yeah. I swear I came with every bite. Not even joking. Messiest meal ever.
Wow, thanks for ruining pizza for me. I didn't think it was possible.
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
