I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Cancel that soberness update. I just almost fell down in the security line
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
