you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
