hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
All I remember is doing a naked tuck and roll of your bed.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
you were passed out so I asked you what my name was and you opened your eyes and yelled "ricotta cheese"
no way
that's when i decided you were gonna be okay
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
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