You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
found out that hot proper business chick in my class A) did a bar crawl last 2 night and still showed up to class and B) is 19 and C) so not as proper as I thought D) is single. How the fuck does that work? Freaking superwoman.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
