Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
I want her autograph on my taint
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
