What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
