She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
