He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
i black out too much to be "responsible"
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
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