your thong is hanging out like whoa
Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
Why are your pants in the freezer?
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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