oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
wanna go halves on a baby?
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I am gathering blankets and bags of horse grain to pad my truck bed so I have a comfy place to crash when I get home, without the inconvenience of stairs. Or doors. Or walking. But with the refreshing scent of molasses.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
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