Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
Randomize
