there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
He was carrying a rolled up carpet saying he was saving it for tomorrow's Walk of Fame.
If a "boob" guy and an "ass" guy are discussing which you are better qualified for....just let them
Starting drinking whiskey at eight. Already had ten girls looking up my kilt to make sure I'm wearing it right.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I'm not a whore anymore. I gave up 90% of my women for you. I'm a 4-5 woman kind of guy now.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
