yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
He's a downgrade and it was quick. But it was dick nonetheless.
Randomize
