No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Now you can NEVER tell anyone that on thanksgiving I took a selfie of my pussy to prove they don't get worse with babies.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
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